BE THE BEST!!!

I have heard Oprah say “BE YOUR BEST SELF” several times and it was inspiring to me but kept me wondering what is my best self? More importantly HOW can I be my best self? Obviously it would be skinner, healthier, sexier, a better mom, better wife, better leader in my business, more successful, wow I better stop I am getting depressed and is definitely not the plan.

So today, when I am reading my Beth Moore devotional, I read that she prayed for God to be “strict” with her and she has been her best and felt so much peace since that prayer. It wasn’t easy but she was rewarded with peace and joy for the perseverance. The devotion was about God correcting those He loves. I pondered this all morning and shared my insights with my daughter and knew this was definitely a bloggable topic.

What made Mohammed Ali the best? What make Super Bowl champs and Special Forces the best? What makes anyone the best in their field? Opera singers or musicians? Business or Sales Executive? Somewhere along the line they had a coach, mentor, leader that pushed them to do the hard things. Pushed them to be disciplined like no one else in their field is. Made them cry, made them mad, made them want to quit but wouldn’t let them, made them be THE BEST. Can’t you see the picture of Rocky Balboa training with his coach? Pushing him beyond what he thought were his limits so he could be the champ?

Shelby had a great thought about this as well. While training to be the best you will be knocked down, knocked out, hit with fists, balls, strain your voice with the high notes, be told “no”, fail at a presentation and your trainer will make you do it over and over and over again so that you don’t flinch when the ball or fist comes at you, back down when the customer says no, freeze in fear when bullets start to fly or the audience looks huge. You will in a sense be numb to the pain. So literally the saying is true here, no pain, no gain.

Isn’t that what God is doing with us? He is training us to be GREAT! THE BEST! Because that is what HE created us to be. I had always wondered why I continually had a certain personality always in my life that just drove me crazy with frustration. It was always a different person, but they evoked the same response of irritation and frustration from me. When I presented this to The Lord I was given the understanding that I would continue to have them in my life until it didn’t bother me anymore. I would meet them in every situation of my life until he worked that rough edge off me. Til I was more like him. Do you feel like you have been traveling around and around the same mountain over and over? Well, you probably have been! He is teaching not to react to your surroundings. Instead, eventually you will be able to respond from the teaching of His Word full of grace and wisdom.

You have probably heard Joyce Meyer tell this story before, but I love it so much I so will share it with you or at least my version of the story..

A man goes into a shop and is looking around couldn’t find the shop keeper to help him with his questions and purchases. He finally goes into the back of the store and finds the store owner smelting a pot of gold to make he beautiful jewelry. The man asked if he could have him stop and help him out front. The shop keeper apologizes as he skims the dross from the top and explains that he can not leave the gold right now as he is almost at the perfect temperature and if he leaves it the dross will harden in the gold and it will be impure, ruined. The man asks if he can hurry it up and by making the fire hotter and he explains that if he heats the gold too hot it will burn up and not be any good. Finally the man asks “well when will you know it is done”. The shop keeper looks at the man and says “when I can see my reflection in the gold, then I know it is done”.

I love that story! That is exactly what God is doing to us!! He promised His Son a bride without SPOT OR WRINKLE… PERFECT. THE BEST! He won’t stop what He has started because we will harden with those impurities in us. He loves us too much to leave us with hate, hurt, selfishness boy the list could go on forever, but he won’t stop. Like a great trainer He will keep the fire at the perfect temperature and keep skimming off the impurities until He can look into our face and see Himself, His Son.

Ask Him to get strict with you! I dare you! Comment and let me know what happens!

PLANT ME DEEPER

He spoke many things to them in parables, saying: “Behold, a sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them. Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. (Matthew 13:3-6 NKJV)
(Matthew 13:3-6 KJV)

I don’t think I could even make up a number of the times I have heard this parable. Sunday School as a little girl up though current day ministers and teachers. But for some reason, this morning this was the verse God decided to talk to me through. The part that hit me was “some fell upon stony places where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away”. Everything I have ever done that I sprang up really quick about didn’t last long. Everything that has lasted in my life was slow going.

I remember being a little girl and planting my seeds in a cup then putting the cup in the window to grow. Then I waited…and waited…and waited for what seemed like an eternity for the little green plant to pop through the soil. I was taught by my mom that the little seed had to break open and push through all the dirt. She caught me digging it up to to help it out and told me I had to push it back down because pushing up through the soil helped it be strong. And the deeper it was, the stronger the roots would be. Well at four all I wanted was to see the plant and didn’t care about roots. My immaturity just wanted it to hurry up.

When God plants something inside us aren’t we the same? He puts it deep inside us. We want to know what it looks like, what fruit will it produce, and aren’t we all anxious to just see it? We ask God a million times… WHEN?? Sometimes we even try to help it out but that just slows the process even more. Like the seed, It is broken and transformed in the dark under pressure. Sometimes wet and cold but almost always alone. The struggle to the top is what makes us strong and gives us a deep root system to be nourished and fortified by. Then finally, our heads poke through what seems to be an endless journey of an uphill battle. When the wind comes or the heat blazes we are strong, we don’t wither.

PREPARE

Most people at the beginning of the year make resolutions to do all the things they didn’t do the year or years before. I woke up January 1st and resolved not to do that. Instead I began to pray for what it was that God wanted from me this year. 2013, what Lord do YOU want me to do? The answer came rather quickly and in true format as how He talks to me very simple, blunt and to the point. PREPARE. That’s it. Nothing fancy, no explanation, just ‘PREPARE’. My next question was the obvious “ok Lord what does that mean?”. Again, just heard PREPARE. Now I have a very active imagination and began to think of all the things that could mean. Now being in my head can be a crazy place and I admit to being a little A.D.D. in my thought life so I will share just a few things that started to swirl around.

Noah came to mind first. Honestly field of dreams came to my mind first but that doesn’t sound as spiritual. Build it and they will come, sorry, back to Noah.. An ark? Lord, do you want me to prepare to build something for you? Silence. Prepare to move? Lord do I need to start packing? Silence. There were tons of things rolling in my head but i was quickly reminded of the verse to “cast down imaginations” so I asked again… Lord, what do you want me to ‘prepare’ for?

I have explained before the way God speaks to me so I will just say that after asking again I had an understanding that came quickly and resonated in my spirit as truth. I was to prepare for ANYTHING God would ask of me. Physically, I need to prepare to be able to walk when he said walk, run when he said run, carry something if He asked me to carry something. To be healthy enough to do whatever He would ask me to do. I need to prepare financially for ANYTHING God requested me to do financially. If He asked me to give I needed to be prepared to give. If I needed to move, I needed to be financially prepared to move.

I am sure you are getting the theme of this but for the sake to getting it down on paper I will continue. I need to be spiritually prepared to handle the temptations and trials that may come my way. Immersing myself in the Word and in prayer so that I can resist the enemy. I needed to prepare to be ready in and out of season should He require me to teach again or speak to women. I needed to prepare in the other gifts The Lord has given me so I am ready to use them if I am called to use them.

We all want the weight loss without the diet, the wisdom without the education, the money without the labor. A field requires ‘preparation’ for it to be able to yield a crop. Rocks need to be removed, tilling, planting, weeding, watering, fertilizing. Goodness, that right there is enough to preach and blog all year about but sparing you all that, I prayed again, Lord show me where I am lacking in my preparation and how YOU want me to prepare. I can come up with diets and budgets and devotional plans but I want to be prepared for HIS work, not mine. I am so glad I prayed that before I started making graphs and charts for myself because His plan was so much simpler than mine. His yoke always is. Duh! He promised that. He gently showed me areas to fertilize and lovingly guided me in corners that needed weeding.

My 2013 word was really about me being called to be a better steward of ALL He has given me and be PREPARED to share my time, money and talents so that I don’t miss out on being used by Him. Where do you need to be more “prepared”? Ask Him! The discipline in the preparation is so worth the reward of being used as the hands or feet of the Almighty Creator of the Universe! So I share my word with you dear friends… PREPARE! I can’t wait to hear what that means to you!

FRESH SQUEEZED

Seems like every where I turned the last couple of weeks the verse “From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” Matthew 12:24 was popping up. My heart is good. What can that possibly have to do with me? Then opportunity after opportunity came up to prove just how “for” me this verse was. I would have a situation and then not act in such a becoming way to it. I realized then what that verse was saying to me. I can’t be frustrated if frustration isn’t in my heart. I can’t be impatient if impatience isn’t in my heart. I can’t be rude if rudeness isn’t in my heart. Get where I am going with this?

For the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience/long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Galatians 5:22-23 When I am squeezed, what juice is filling others cups? Annoyance is not a juice you want to make a smoothie out of. Sarcasm fresh squeezed not so palatable either. I know, I speak fluent sarcasm too. I also realized that tolerance is not in the list of the fruits of the spirit. Had to ponder that one for a bit but in doing so realized how prideful it was to “tolerate” someone. Like I am so much better I will tolerate you. Oh, ok! That makes God proud of me I am sure.

This week I was tired, in alot of pain from dental surgery, and emotionally exhausted from grieving over several of my patients dying that I cared deeply about. One of my co-workers was on my last nerve and I blew. Now, I didn’t cuss her out or anything but when the Jack LaLane juicer was applied to my life the squeezing did not bring out a fresh glass of kindness, gentleness, love, or peace. Heck, not one of the fruit juices of the spirit came out. Instead I told her why she was on my nerve and basically how I couldn’t stand her. God repeated that verse to me over and over. Out of the abundance of my heart my mouth spoke. My heart was saying exactly what was in there. Oh God, change me! I was mortified after I got over feeling good about telling her off.

My heart is ugly. My fresh squeezed fruit juice is bitter and hard to swallow. Adding a little sugar to it just makes it passive aggressive. I need a transplant and STAT! I know that I can’t but HE can take my heart and make it like His. His Spirit can birth the sweet fruits in my life so that I can love, be joyful, be at peace, have patience, be kind, show goodness, be faithful, gentle and most importantly for me to have self control. Not in the situations that I can control and that are with nice easy people, but with the situations that truly put you in the juicer and squeeze the pulp right out of you.

What is your heart condition? What fruit juice do you produce when you are squeezed? Let Him help you examine yourself and then do the fixin where the fixin needs to be done. HE can do it! YOU don’t have to, just be willing to let Him. Why? Cause it’s not your weed to pull!

AND WHEN YOU RETURN

AND WHEN YOU RETURN.

Jesus tells Peter in Luke 22:31-34 that Satan has asked if he can sift you like wheat and Jesus is praying the Peter’s faith would not fail him and then He says “and when you return”, encourage other believers.

So first of all I just want to say that it all makes sense now. When I have felt like my life was turned up one way and down another and like I was being pressed through little holes it was because I PROBABLY WAS! Maybe or can I just be so bold as to say PROBABLY Satan had asked the same about me. Notice that Jesus doesn’t say “ya, nice try, but I don’t think so” or “I rebuke you” or “step back satan you can’t touch him” the request is not denied but instead He just says that He was praying Peter’s faith would help him get through it.

Then he says “and when you return”…which to me says that his faith doesn’t keep him from leaving or falling short, but it does help him to turn back and return to the right direction after the sifting so that he can use what satan meant for his harm to encourage his fellow believers.

We know that Peter denies Christ three times. Worse he can’t even stand up to the peer pressure of a little girl. He is sifted and he fails. But, he gets up and then goes on to be a mighty warrior for the kingdom. The Bible says that a righteous man falls seven times BUT HE GETS UP (Proverbs 24:16). That is what I was reminded of when Jesus tells Peter “and when you return”. This is the same Peter that wanted to walk on water with Jesus. He got out of the boat walked and then started to sink. It may have looked like he was going to sink to everyone else but our Lord was in control the whole time and needed to teach Peter to keep his eyes on his master. He could have focussed on how he wasn’t able to do it but instead he realizes he can’t do it without Him.

My life has been a series of ups and downs in my walk with The Lord. I have been obedient and served with all my heart to not serving at all and walking away. I too have jumped out of my boat to walk on water with my Lord only to sink when the waves came up. But the whole time I can know that my Lord was working what Satan meant for my harm (my siftings) for my good and His glory and was interceding for me that my faith would not keep me from returning so that I could encourage others the way Peter did. My faith would remind me that even though I was sinking that all I had to do was look up and He was right there for me.

AND WHEN I RETURNED, I realized that it was my faith that helped me come back home. I couldn’t listen to the lie telling me that I had sunk too far in the water to get up, that I had blown it this time, that God could never use me now, because my faith was screaming inside me ITS A LIE!

Thank you Lord for the siftings you have allowed and will allow to happen to me. Thank you even more for praying for me that my faith will not fail! Thank you for still being there WHEN I RETURN.

The Road to Encinitas

I have a couple days a week when I drive to work and am able to call my best friend and talk to her. This gives us thirty minutes of uninterrupted time to girl talk. I am sure several of you are shaking your head in understanding of how important it is to just have that time to chat with your girlfriend and catch up, share your heart, cry, laugh just be girls without anyone else hearing or wanting something from you. So this Tuesday morning I get in my car and tell Suri to call my BFF. To my surprise it rings and rings and I get her voice mail. Where can she be? This is OUR time and I need my BFF therapy.

In the background my Big Daddy Weave CD is playing and I start to sing along with the lyrics. This is quite a milestone for me as for years now I had avoided Christian music because it brought back too many painful memories. As I sang this morning I felt the presence of the Lord fill the car. OH I get it! YOU want to talk to me this morning! That’s why Brenda didn’t answer her phone. The next part is hard to explain but those of you who KNOW Him will get what I am saying.

In a very short instant I was in that dimension that God takes you to when He is trying to speak to you. Is it the third dimension? It seems far greater than a “third” dimension. It is that place when you know everything He is saying to you in an instant and see it, feel it, understand it, KNOW it. Tears begin to stream down my face as I see that I have locked hurt in my own little storage shed and He was taking the lock off and walking in and wanting to sit in there with me.

But God, I say, I only have 20 more minutes of this drive and I now have no makeup on my face from the sudden burst of tears! We do not have time for this!! Mind you, this shed is full of some serious hurts and betrayals. I would need a whole vacation on a sandy beach with Him to unpack this bad boy and sort through it. But I know it is now or never. Apparently what I have gone to Celebrate Recovery to try and fix, avoid and let “time” heal the wounds was about to happen in one step and in less than 20 minutes because God knows I hate to be late for anything especially work!

“Come here”, I feel Him say. So I do. Oh ya, I am still driving the car and am truly present at that as well. That’s the part of the dimension I don’t understand and feel very much like I am in a star trek episode. Faces begin to flash before my eyes. All the people I had surrounded myself with and that I had prayed with, worshipped with, poured mine or they poured their heart out to me. As the faces came up I cried harder. I was so hurt that they didn’t come after me. They just left me. It was like opening the boxes and deciding if you were keeping it or giving it to the garage sale. How bout this one? Or this one? Each face I realized was like that doll I had in kindergarten that I couldn’t part with but have now outgrown. The sweater that grandma so lovingly crocheted and had the weird balls on it but had to wear it when she was around. That eventually got to go in the garage sale pile as well.

There are people that God put in my life that I felt I couldn’t live without. We weathered spiritual warfare together and then there are the ones that like the sweater, they too have some weird things about them and I kept them around because I knew I was supposed to. Now I know those people are put in a garage sale, but I had to outgrow them. And God knew that it would take a hurt or betrayal for me to walk away. I couldn’t go any farther in that environment.

My daughter and I were having a conversation the other day about her being sad to leave San Luis Obispo after living there a couple years and developing friends and a history. I reminded her of that moment when she was a little girl when she held her barbies and realized she didn’t know how to play with them anymore. She could brush their hair and change their outfits, but she lost the imagination she had before to play for hours pretending they were married and friends and going places and talking to each other. She laughed and fondly, but sadly, remembered that moment. The barbies then go in the box as a memory of great times with girlfriends. They are only remembered when you move and dust off the box.

Hurts are like that too I see as I unpack this hurt shed I have created with my God holding me through it. All in twenty minutes can I remind you of that? I had, without emotion expressed to various people that I had been hurt and referred to my shed of hurts but just to angrily point to it and move on. The hurt replaced by anger because I could manage that much better. But didn’t want to go in there again.

In there meant going to church and getting involved with people that could do that again to me. It meant opening my heart to the possibility to ministering and teaching God’s Word again. It meant maybe having to see THOSE PEOPLE again and loving them and realizing they were items that I had, for the sake of this story, sold at the garage sale and others were using them now.
Boxes opened and items now out in the full LIGHT, I see that I am ready to move on and clean this shed out. I begin to worship “you are glorious almighty infinant and holy…Magnificent God, Magnificent God”. I am not mad anymore. Sad remembering those people fondly now just like seeing the barbie in the box. But in awe that the CREATOR of the UNIVERSE came to my car this morning when I was irritated that my girlfriend didn’t pick up to be WITH LITTLE ME and HEAL ME. Not quite the road to Damascus, but just as suddenly on my road to Encinitas.

My heart now is ready for the next thing. Music is playing again in my heart and a hunger for worship. I can’t wait to see what is next! So when no one is calling you back and not answering your phone it just might be God blocking the signal because HE wants to talk to you. Don’t reject the call.